


A Very Winchester Christmas

by angvlicmish



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Christmas, Demisexual Dean, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:21:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21942811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angvlicmish/pseuds/angvlicmish
Summary: Christmas Day is Dean's favourite day of the year. It's the only time of the year where his entire family sit down for a meal and catch up with one another. And this year, it's even more special, for his cousin, Eve, is finally bringing a most anticipated boyfriend.When said boyfriend shows up, however, not all is as it seems. Because turns out, it's Castiel Novak, Dean's very, very gay best friend.Except it's not quite as simple as that.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 32
Kudos: 243
Collections: The Destiel Fan Survey Favs Collection





	A Very Winchester Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> The family tree was slightly modified for this story. Here Christian, Mark and Gwen Campbell are Mary's younger siblings. Kate (Adam Milligan's mother in SPN) is Henry and Millie's daughter and John's sister. And Adam and Eve (I'm hilarious) are Kate's children and Sam and Dean's cousins. 
> 
> Also, this is based in Australia because that's where I'm from and I, of course, had to write an Aussie Christmas!

“Pass me a cold one, would you, and tell my sons to bloody well get their asses over here.”

Dean snorts, sifting for a beer in the esky before handing one to Samuel where he’s sweating by the barbeque, the summer heat beating down on their bare skin, a beautiful Christmas day.

“Hey, Santa Claus,” Dean calls, as he pads across the yard to where Mark and Christian are clowning around playing cricket by themselves with the shitty plastic ball and bat Dean only put out five minutes ago.

Christian looks up at Dean’s call, his Santa Claus hat half falling from his head as the plastic stumps get bowled over. Mark goes up in a loud, obnoxious cheer – louder than the music blaring from Dean’s speaker sitting on the table – and Christian looks to the fallen stumps before he turns to Dean.

“This is your fault,” he says, and Dean grins.

“Yeah and you two better get over to your dad before hell breaks loose.”

He doesn’t wait for their reactions, heading back inside where Deanna and Gwen are waiting for him to get the potatoes out of the oven. The three of them move seamlessly around each other in the small space, plenty of dishes already plated up on the bench, the smell making Dean’s mouth water.

It’s by far his favourite part of Christmas, when their entire family – no matter how much they get on his nerves during every other day of the year – sit down for their big Christmas lunch. 

They’re missing one in the kitchen this year, however, Mary usually with the three of them. But since Samuel and Deanna moved further out into the suburbs, it’s a longer drive for his parents to collect Henry and Millie, so Dean drove over by himself in the morning after passing by the local seafood shop to collect their order of prawns to help out as he always does.

Sam, meanwhile, was tasked with the unfortunate job of driving half an hour up the coast to fetch Adam from where he’s been staying for university and will be late as well.

And of course, Eve – the one person everyone is waiting to see. And not just because she’s been away in Sydney for university and except for Aunt Kate and Adam, none of them have seen her since last Christmas, but because this year she’s bringing her mysterious boyfriend.

Dean was definitely surprised when she first announced it, as he knows how annoying it is for her year after year being pestered with the ‘so, is there a boyfriend’ question. 

He honestly thought that if Eve ever did get a boyfriend, she’d not tell any of them about it. But less than a week ago, out of nowhere, she told them all over text that she’d be bringing her boyfriend none of them even knew she had home for Christmas Day, much to the delight of those that had asked that question for all these past years.

He was a little hurt that she hadn’t told him anything about it, though. Even though they went to different schools when they were younger – having lived in different suburbs – since they were the same age they always spent a bit of time together when their families got together and he would say he is closest to her out of all his extended family.

Doesn’t matter now, though. She’ll be here soon enough and everything will finally be revealed.

After almost all the food is prepared, his own dishes complete, he takes it upon himself as he does every year, to set the table on the open deck outside – Mark and Christian finally helping Samuel out with the barbeque. Although perhaps ‘helping’ is being a little too generous.

Once he’s done, he stands back, a little pride hitching in his chest at the sight, the Christmas tablecloth laid out with no wrinkles, plates, cutlery and glasses out for fourteen – Aunt Kate unable to make it this year since she’s overseas – bon bons beside each – and he can already see where he’ll be placing each dish. 

Everyone thinks he’s a bit of a perfectionist, and perhaps he is. But Christmas is his favourite time of the year and if no one else will bring the cheer, he can certainly bring enough for the entire family. 

His little moment is cut short, however, when the doorbell rings. He grins, stepping back inside and passing the vibrant tree in the living room, colourful presents stacked underneath waiting to be opened after lunch.

He gets to the door just as Deanna shouts for him to get the door and rolling his eyes, he opens it to find Eve’s bright smile on the other side and he smiles back, almost about to step out to hug her when he glances to her left and freezes, any words dissolving on his tongue.

Because standing next to Eve is Castiel Novak. _Cas._

It feels as though the air has been knocked from his lungs and he can do nothing but stare at the boy that he hasn’t seen in three years since he left to attend university in Sydney. 

The boy who broke his heart. The best friend he’s ever had. 

And just like that, everything rushes back to him. Every memory of when they first met at fifteen. Every memory of how they were each other’s closest friend, practically attached at the hip. And every memory from when in that last year of high school, Dean finally understood that maybe he didn’t want to be just friends anymore. 

In those few weeks before school was out for good, it was all he could think about. He’d known Castiel was gay since he’d first met him so there was a chance there but Dean had never felt that way about a guy before – although he’d only felt that way about few girls – so he didn’t know if it was true. 

He’d asked his friend, Victor, if he could kiss him to see if he really did like guys or if this crush was just some freak thing (it wasn’t) and that same day Castiel told him he had chosen instead to leave to Sydney for university. Just like that. After all the nights they’d stayed up talking about what they’d be getting up to once they were out of school and at the same local university they’d both applied for.

Dean had been heartbroken. Castiel, however, hadn’t even apologised nor given him much of a reason for the sudden change. And it only broke him more when once Castiel left, they barely spoke. Until they didn’t speak at all. 

And now, here he is, standing right in front of him. And he looks good. More than good with his navy shorts and white shirt that hugs his frame just right, his hair as messy and dark as it always was. 

And yeah, maybe they haven’t spoken in a long time but that doesn’t mean Dean wasn’t always prowling his Instagram for any glimpse of him. At least until Castiel stopped posting a couple months ago and Dean sulked for days on end about it, as it made him think maybe it was because Castiel was too preoccupied with more important things in life – or perhaps a more important special someone. 

So, yeah, it’s not news that he’s filled out, that his shoulders are broader, his jaw sharper, his skin tanner--

Dean blinks. Wait. 

But his thoughts don’t get any further, Eve voicing them aloud for him. “Dean! It’s so good to see you,” she says as she pulls him into a quick hug before stepping back and threading an arm through Castiel’s, “This is my boyfriend, Cas.”

Dean stares, eyes flicking between the both of them. Because _what_?!

Castiel is Eve’s _boyfriend?_

“Cas said he knew you in high school.”

Dean almost chokes on air as he meets Castiel’s friendly, blue eyes. 

And all he can think is _what the fuck?_ Because not only is Castiel completely and utterly gay but they didn’t just ‘know each other’ in high school, they were as close as any two friends could be.

But none of this comes falling out of his mouth – his mouth that’s still hanging partly open in shock as he stares and stares and stares at Castiel, wondering if in the next few seconds he’ll disappear before his very eyes because this can’t be real.

But Castiel doesn’t disappear, his lips quirking up in a friendly smile and Dean steps forward, mouth open and ready to burst with ‘what on earth is going on’ when Castiel steps forward to meet him.

“Nice to see you again, Dean. You’re looking well,” he says, voice deep and gravelly now and then he sticks his hand out between them to shake. 

Dean stares at that too, and it’s only now he’s finally aware that he’s wearing his bi-coloured board shorts and a shirt that says, ‘Hoe, Hoe, Hoe’, and there’s no fucking way he’s about to take his hand and shake it like nothing here is wrong.

Eve clears her throat beside them. “Okay,” she says awkwardly, eyeing Dean carefully. “Well, we’re just gonna scoot past so I can introduce Cas to everyone else. See you inside?” But it’s not much of a question as she grabs Castiel by the arm and drags him past and down the hall, Dean saying nothing as he watches them go.

He only stands there a moment, however, for his feet are carrying him towards the living room before he knows it and he watches from the hall as Eve introduces Castiel to Deanna and Gwen – Eve’s arm still curled around Castiel’s own. Both Gwen and Deanna pull Castiel in for a hug, Deanna placing a small kiss on his cheek before she tells Eve, “Oh, he’s so handsome,” and Dean finds himself turning as they all share a laugh, swiftly stepping into the bathroom and slamming the door shut behind him.

He lets out a deep breath, hands gripping the edge of the sink, his thoughts a whirlwind in his head and he needs to slow down before he does something entirely embarrassing. He splashes some cold water on his face and neck, as if that will slow the racing beat of his heart. 

And among every thought, all he can think is that Castiel never found out about Dean’s feelings for him. Once he announced he was moving to Sydney Dean didn’t dare speak it, knowing that if he was just up and leaving like that he couldn’t possibly have felt the same way. He wipes his sweaty palms on his shorts, realising then too that Castiel didn’t even find out Dean was bisexual. 

After all, when he left Dean didn’t feel the need to tell him. Not knowing Castiel was the reason he even figured it out in the first place. 

Thankfully, when he steps back into the living room, Eve and Castiel are crammed into the kitchen, Deanna having dragged Samuel inside to greet them. It’s only when a hand taps him on the shoulder that he turns his head to find Gwen eyeing him strangely. 

“You alright, kiddo?”

Dean’s eyes flick back to Castiel momentarily before he nods. “Yeah, fine, why?”

Gwen purses her lips and he knows she doesn’t quite believe him. “The others are still a little way off so why don’t you go sit down outside, and we’ll have everyone come out for drinks?”

At the mention of drinks, Dean nods vigorously before taking off outside, not wanting her to question him any further. 

He grabs himself a beer out of the esky, next to where Mark is looking utterly bored minding the cooking meat before he takes a seat at the table next to Christian who’s idly thumbing away at his phone. 

He takes the moment to get half the beer inside of him, hoping it will calm some of his nerves. The ease doesn’t last long, however, as out of the corner of his eye he spies Eve and Castiel stepping onto the deck, Samuel close behind them. 

He averts his eyes, picking at the label on his beer instead as he imagines sinking into the floor. But of course, no one will let Dean breathe today because suddenly the chair directly across from him is pulled out and he glances up to see Castiel, Eve perching down in the chair beside him.

Castiel holds his eyes, his own open and waiting but whatever it is he’s waiting for he’s not getting it because Dean keeps his mouth clamped shut and finally Castiel’s gaze tears away when Eve introduces him to Christian. They shake hands over the table before Eve calls out to Mark and introduces him with that same – _This is my boyfriend, Cas._

And every time she says it, Dean loses a little more of his sanity. 

Because Castiel is gay. He knows that. There was never a time when Castiel even showed the slightest interest in a girl. Ever. So, what is going on? Castiel would’ve known who Eve was. Even though they never met, Dean mentioned his cousin, Eve Milligan, more than once. So, there’s no way he could’ve not known that Dean would be here today. And he definitely didn’t look surprised at all to see Dean at the front door. 

So, why did he come? And why on earth is he Eve’s boyfriend?

Thankfully, some of the tension defuses when Deanna, Gwen and Samuel all take a seat at the table after offering everyone a drink – Mark still manning over the barbeque – and Dean’s left with himself watching as Castiel takes a sip of his beer, tan throat bobbing as he does, before he tears his eyes away, cheeks hot.

“So, how’d you two meet?” Gwen says, and Dean almost screams _finally_.

Eve and Castiel share an amused look. “Well,” she starts, a bright smile on her face. “We met at uni. Cas and I were both taking the same class and um…” she huffs a small laugh and Castiel does the same, and something twists deep in Dean’s gut, “I guess it was just love at first sight.” 

Dean rolls his eyes as Deanna coos, “Oh, that’s beautiful,” and there’s something hot and harsh climbing into his chest and it’s only made worse when Eve opens her hand, palm up on the table and Castiel reaches for it, intertwining their fingers and Dean spots it. 

The ring on his finger. The ring Dean gave Castiel for his seventeenth birthday. They often frequented the local second-hand op shop together after school, always keeping their eyes peeled for any cheap goodies and Dean had noticed the way Castiel’s eyes had lingered on the piece of jewellery. He hadn’t said anything though and Dean thought maybe he was too embarrassed to buy it. He’d never worn jewellery before but Dean thought he’d look fucking cool with it (at the time he didn’t realise the phrase he was looking for was fucking hot) and he’d bought it for him on his birthday. Castiel had nearly cried and hugged him tight enough that it hurt, sentimental as he was. 

Now, Dean stares it, knowing there’s no way his eyes are betraying him – that it’s a different ring – because he knows it’s the one. His chest aches at the sight, feeling heartbroken all over again.

“So, where’re you from Cas?” Samuel asks, and Dean doesn’t miss the way Castiel’s gaze passes over Dean. 

“I grew up here, actually. Only moved to Sydney for uni like Eve,” he says, and before he can say anything more Eve pipes up.

“He knew Dean at school,” she says, much to the raised eyebrows of everyone else, before she turns on him again. “Cas said you guys were friends.”

All eyes fall on Dean now as he grits his teeth. “More like best friends actually,” he says, eyes trained on his beer in front of him.

Eve frowns, turning back to Castiel. “You didn’t mention that.”

Dean huffs. “He wouldn’t,” he mumbles, before taking a long swig of his beer. He can practically feel everyone stiffen up but most of all, he can feel Castiel’s gaze on him, heavy and piercing. Dean won’t meet his eyes, though. Won’t give him whatever it is he wants.

“Well,” Samuel claps his hands together. “How about some cricket while we wait for the slow ones?”

✧ ✧ ✧

Dean pegs the ball hard at the stumps but Christian just slides his bat in, much to his annoyance. Gwen and Christian have been in for a while now, Samuel wicketkeeping as per usual, himself and Mark on either side of their mowed grass pitch as Deanna watches on, cheering from the barbeque.

Castiel and Eve stand in the corner, chatting quietly and only participating half-heartedly when the ball comes their way.

Dean finds he can’t stop his eyes from wandering over to him. He doesn’t _want_ to look at him, definitely doesn’t _want_ to speak to him and yet his heart keeps pounding hard in his chest whenever he gets even a glimpse of him or feels Castiel looking his way.

It doesn’t help though that at the same time Christian keeps trying to smash the ball into his nuts since he accidentally did the same to him last year. Or perhaps it’s a blessing in disguise, the only thing keeping him from being so goddamn obvious with his staring.

Or at least he thought it was before Gwen finally gets run out and with a sigh heads straight over to him after handing the bat off to Mark. 

“Can you help me bring the dishes out? Got a text five minutes ago that the others will be here soon,” she says and Dean nods, happy to oblige. It’s only when he steps inside that she continues. 

“Are you alright? What with this Cas guy?”

Dean freezes for a split second before shrugging. “It’s fine. Nothing to worry about,” he responds, hoping she doesn’t catch his complete and utter bullshit. Thankfully, she doesn’t push, only nods and gets to work.

It’s nice timing, for just as he and Gwen have placed the last dish on the table, Deanna having plated up the meat as well, the doorbell rings and suddenly the rest of the family is pouring through onto the deck, trading hugs and kisses and ‘Merry Christmas’s with everyone. 

He helps Henry and Millie to their seats at the end of the table, kissing them both on the cheek, before enveloping Adam in a hug and teasing him for pulling out on driving down to the beach with him and Sam last month to hang with some girl.

He laughs at Sam who has slight bags under his eyes from the long drive and smiles at his mum and dad who are still making their way around the table to make sure everyone gets a hug. That’s when he remembers that Castiel is here.

Mary’s the first to notice, her eyes widening as a confused smile falls into place. “Cas, honey? Oh, it’s so good to see you, you look wonderful,” she says, before enveloping him in a warm hug as Castiel smiles back. Dean’s stomach sours.

Because his parents still love Castiel. Because he never told them what happened. Only that they had drifted apart because Castiel was away. Nothing more.

“Is that really you, Castiel?” his father says, as Mary finally releases Castiel from her embrace. “My boy, you’ve grown, haven’t you? You used to be such a small, weedy little thing.” Castiel laughs, rich and deep and beautiful, and Dean rolls his eyes, not needing another reminder that they haven’t seen each other in three years and in that time, he became even more handsome than he already was. 

“What on earth brings you here?” John says, after embracing him in his own tight hug. 

And Dean finally sees it. Castiel falters a moment, his eyes flicking to where Eve is engaged in a conversation with Henry and says, “I’m here with Eve. We met at uni in Sydney.”

“Oh, of course. What a coincidence, hey? So good to see you,” John says, before suddenly he’s being dragged into a greeting with Samuel. 

He feels a different pair of eyes on him now and turns to see Sam glaring at him. His brother raises his eyebrows, jabbing a finger in Castiel’s direction, clearly as confused as Dean felt not too long ago because Sam’s the only one Dean ever told the truth to. That he realised he had a slight crush and Castiel up and left and broke his heart. To put it simply.

Dean shoots him his best ‘I don’t fucking know’ look but before Sam can round the table and ask him anything more, Deanna’s calling for everyone to take a seat and he’ll admit he’s slightly surprised when Castiel once again finds himself sitting across from Dean.

The usual conversation flows as everyone serves up their own plates, ‘how are you’s and ‘this all looks wonderful’ and there’s some slight stress relief until everyone is served, no more dishes being passed around and it begins all over again.

And of course, it’s goddamn Sam.

“So,” he starts, acting totally nonchalant, “What brings you here, Cas? It’s been so long since we’ve seen you.”

Eve steps in as always, a hand on Castiel’s bicep. “Cas is my boyfriend! Didn’t you get the text that I was bringing my boyfriend to Christmas lunch?”

Sam almost chokes around a potato (and on any other day Dean would laugh his head off) as an awkward silence falls over the other end of the table where John and Mary sit side by side, exchanging a strange look.

“Oh,” his mother says, “Um, not to overstep but I’m almost certain I remembered Dean saying you were gay.” Dean would lean over the table and hug his mother if he could because _finally someone is asking the right questions._

Castiel only shrugs. “No, actually, I’m bi.”

Dean snorts before he can stop himself and Castiel’s gaze tears away from Mary to land on him. “Oh, really,” he says, not even trying to hide his sarcasm. 

Castiel grips his fork tight in his hand. “Yeah, really.”

Dean nods, taking a swig of beer, and he can feel all eyes on them once more but finds himself not caring. 

“Interesting. You know, usually in this wildly heteronormative world of ours, you find out you like girls first before boys.” He pauses for a breath (and it would be truly humiliating if in fact Castiel was bi and found out he liked boys first but he can’t go back now). And then, “Like I did.” 

He almost kicks himself for adding it but he’s impulsive and maybe that desperate, miserable part of him still wants Castiel to know. 

But Castiel doesn’t look phased at all that Dean just told him he’s bi. In fact, he barely blinks.

“I didn’t know Dean was a homosexual,” Millie says, at the other end of the table.

John sighs. “Mother, the term is gay now. And Dean is bisexual.”

“So, he’s not a homosexual?”

Castiel finally shrugs. “Well, I guess I’m different.”

Dean scoffs. “Yeah, sure.”

Someone coughs awkwardly a few seats down as Eve straightens across from him. “Actually, Cas was thinking about moving back here!” she says, clearly trying to change the topic.

“Is that right?” John says, indulging her.

Castiel’s fiddling with the ring on his finger when he says, “I’m not quite sure yet, I’ll have to think about it.” He raises his eyes then and it’s almost as if it’s a challenge. “What do you think, Dean?” 

Dean pretends to ponder a moment. “Well, this _is_ home. And I’ve heard Sydney’s filled with snobs.”

Castiel stares at him, unwavering. 

“Dean!” Eve almost shrieks, and he can feel her death glare without having to look at her. 

“Oh, I don’t know what’s gotten into him but I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that,” Mary says, attempting to save him but Dean and Castiel don’t take their eyes off each other so he doesn’t miss the way Castiel’s jaw ticks before Eve finally draws his attention away as Deanna, thankfully, starts up another conversation.

He doesn’t bother with anyone else although he can hear Christian trying to hold in a laugh and can feel Sam willing him to look his way.

They continue to eat and drink and talk about other boring things. Dean stays quiet, not answering the disapproving glares he’s been receiving from just about everyone. Castiel is mostly quiet too, only adding something occasionally or being drawn into a one-sided conversation with Eve.

Suddenly, he’s not all that hungry and he hates that his favourite day of the year has now been ruined because Castiel for some stupid reason decided to show up. 

Half an hour passes with no other arguments, everyone finished with their food and waiting for their stomachs to settle before dessert, when Sam decides to open his goddamn mouth again.

“So, Castiel,” he says, “Have you been keeping in touch with your friends since going to Sydney?”

Castiel hesitates a moment, and as he does his phone vibrates on the table, his screen lighting up and an instant before Castiel quickly clicks it off, Dean catches the picture on the background.

A picture of them. It’s a stupid picture. Dean’s got his arm around Castiel’s neck and he’s placing a big, sloppy kiss on Castiel’s cheek as Castiel pulls a face at the camera. He remembers that night. They were at a party and it was only a few weeks before Dean realised maybe what he felt for his best friend wasn’t so platonic. It’s embarrassing to think about how badly he’d wanted to kiss Castiel back then.

But why the fuck is it on Castiel’s lock screen? Dean’s heart twinges in his chest, his hand gripping tight around his beer.

Did he put it there just to taunt him?

And if things couldn’t get any worse, Castiel finally says, “Yeah, I have tried to stay close.” And it’s like a slap in the face. “But I’ve actually--”

“You know what, Cas?” he interrupts, harsh and unforgiving and so entirely done as Castiel meets his gaze. “Fuck you.”

Suddenly, it is very, very quiet. But Dean doesn’t notice anyone else, only the boy in front of him. 

Castiel’s gaze only falls away for a moment before he huffs, a dejected smile pulling at his lips and something aches inside of Dean at the bare hurt in his eyes. 

“Yeah, this was a mistake. I know.” He smiles at Dean, as though he’s saying sorry. As though he’s trying to say this isn’t his fault. Then he stands. “Excuse me,” he says politely, and Dean watches him disappear inside without another word. 

The quiet lingers for another few moments before everyone appears to burst and suddenly a thousand questions are flying around the table, Dean getting his fair share of reprimands, especially from his mum and dad who are both yelling at him from across the table but Dean just sits, staring hollowly at Castiel’s now empty chair. 

Then, suddenly, “Cas isn’t my boyfriend!” 

Eve’s words silence everyone as all eyes turn on her, including Dean’s own. 

She looks like she’s about to scream as she holds a hand to her head, as though all of this is giving her one awful headache.

“I’m sorry, okay, but Dean’s right, Cas is gay and he’s not my boyfriend!” 

The quiet is oppressive as everyone stares at her in confusion.

“Eve, honey, what’s going on,” Deanna’s gentle voice prods. 

Eve lets out a deep sigh. “I’m just – every year all I ever get asked is whether I have a boyfriend and so, Cas being the nice friend he is, offered to come with me and pretend to be my boyfriend so you would all get off my back, okay? But I have no idea what’s going on with you two--” she says, waving a hand in Dean’s direction, “I swear, all he told me was he knew you in high school, okay? Everybody happy?” 

Dean would laugh if that ache in his chest wasn’t so present. Because of course that’s what happened. Of course, Castiel offered to be Eve’s boyfriend for Christmas to get her family off her back. But he knew Dean would be here. So, why did he really come?

When Dean finally looks up, everyone has now turned on him, that same question in all of their eyes. 

He lets out a deep breath, pushing himself to his feet. “Go on, Sammy,” he says, “Tell ‘em.” 

And with that, he heads inside. 

He finds Castiel sitting on the front deck, doing nothing but staring out at the quiet street in front of him. He doesn’t react when he hears Dean opening the door nor does he turn to meet his eye when Dean sits down beside him.

He looks out at the street for a moment, listening to the distant chatter of his family out the back before he finally speaks.

“What are you doing here, Cas?” And this time, there’s no venom in his words. “And I don’t mean helping Eve out. I mean, _really_.”

Castiel shakes his head, a small, sad smile pulling at his lips. “Isn’t it obvious?” Dean doesn’t miss the bitterness in his tone, only stares at him, waiting until Castiel meets his eyes, a soft ache inside of them. “I’m here for you.”

Dean blinks, his heart lurching in his chest because it’s all he’s wanted to hear since Castiel showed up at the door today but he’s no less confused than he was a moment ago. 

He fumbles for something to say, only to come up with, “Why?”

“What do you mean ‘why’?” Castiel looks at him as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “I haven’t seen my best friend in three years. I miss you.”

Those three words land painfully and he can’t find it in himself to believe they’re true. Because, “If you miss me so much, why did you leave in the first place? I mean, I don’t care if you wanted to go study somewhere else but we made a pact. You promised me. And then you--” His throat tightens around those words. _You broke my heart_. “You left me.”

Castiel rubs a frustrated hand over his face. “I left because it was too painful to say. To be around you all the time. But I know now that not seeing you at all hurts more and if everything went alright today I was gonna move back--”

“Wait, hold up.” Dean shakes his head, trying to get his thoughts straight, something warm blooming in his chest. Something like hope. “What do you mean it was too painful to say?”

Castiel lets out a soft sigh, raising his head to look at the clear, blue sky. “Because I’ve had feelings for you pretty much since the day we met.” Dean blinks, his heart stuttering in his chest. Wait--

“And the day that I told you I was leaving I’d come over earlier in the morning to tell you. It had taken me years to build up the courage. But when I got there I saw you. In your backyard. Kissing Victor.” Castiel huffs dejectedly as Dean stares at him, jaw slack. “I didn’t even know you liked guys – I mean, I hoped but then I saw that you did and you liked someone else. You didn’t like me. And it hurt and I got angry and I made a stupid decision to leave even though now I know I shouldn’t have.”

Dean is gaping now and when Castiel finally turns to look at him his eyes narrow, and Dean’s heart feels like it’s about to pound right out of his chest. “What?”

“Jesus Christ, Cas, are you fucking serious!” he explodes. Castiel sets his jaw.

“Look, I’m sorry if you’re not comfortable about my feelings for you--”

“No, you idiot,” Dean almost screams, “I didn’t like someone else, I liked you!”

Castiel stares at him, a thousand and one emotions flashing through his bright, blue – hopeful – eyes. 

Dean shakes his head, not believing that this could be happening right now except for the fact that it is happening right now and _god_ \--

“I had feelings for you, alright?” he says, the words falling from his tongue and suddenly it’s the easiest thing in the world, everything spilling out at once. “But I didn’t know if I actually liked guys or not – I’d never felt that way before – and I didn’t want to tell you before I knew for sure because that would’ve been a fucking disaster so I asked Victor if I could kiss him to see if I liked it because Victor’s a good looking guy, you know, and so I did and I did like it and…” Dean trails off, finally out of breath as he stares back at Castiel’s stunned face. 

He shakes his head again, eyes falling to the ground. “Shit,” he mutters, and he would laugh if he didn’t feel so entirely stupid. 

“What about now?”

Dean’s head flies up at Castiel’s words, so soft he almost misses them. “What?”

Castiel’s eyes are open and terrified. “Do you still…” He swallows, unable to finish his sentence but he doesn’t need to. 

Dean’s hand fits perfectly in the curve of Castiel’s jaw and his chest is heaving as those blue eyes flutter, waiting, wondering, hoping. But Dean won’t make him wait any longer.

He kisses him, soft and slow, warmth blooming in his chest when Castiel kisses back, hand grasping at his bicep as if to hold him steady. As if to keep him close. 

And it’s better than he ever imagined it would be. Because it’s real. Because it’s true. Because--

Dean places his free hand in between them, pushing Castiel back, mouth torn from his own. 

“Wait--”

“What are you--”

“You don’t already have a boyfriend, do you?”

Castiel’s eyebrows pinch together. “What, no! Why are you asking me that?”

Dean flushes, hand rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “Oh. I just thought because you stopped posting on Instagram that you must have been preoccupied with better things.” Even as the words are coming out of his mouth, he hears how ridiculous it sounds. But even more ridiculous than he thinks apparently, for Castiel smiles wide, shaking his head.

“What?”

“I stopped posting because you stopped liking them. I mean, what was the point, then?” Dean stares at him before his own smile spreads wide across his face. 

“So, we’re both idiots.”

Castiel’s smile is soft but the happiness radiates from every inch in him. “I guess so,” he whispers, and this time it’s Castiel that pulls him in. Dean smiles into the kiss, thinking he could definitely get used to--

“I think it’s about time one of you two idiots told us what on earth is going on.”

Dean yelps as they spring apart, turning behind them to find every single family member watching them from inside the hallway, Eve standing at the front, arms crossed. A flash goes off and Dean’s attention snaps to Sam who’s leaning around Mary to take pictures. 

“Oh god,” Dean mutters, his cheeks burning and when he flicks his gaze to Castiel beside him, he finds him biting his lip, restraining a laugh.

“Do you think it’s time for dessert?” Mary says.

“So, are you moving back to town, Cas?” Sam grins.

Dean’s attention falls back to Castiel, blue eyes already on him, a smile at the edge of his lips.

“I don’t know. What do you think, Dean?”

Dean smiles and kisses him. He knows that’s answer enough. 

“So, Dean is a homosexual?”

“For Christ’s sake, mother.”

Dean brushes the hair from his beautiful, blue eyes, a cheeky smile blooming on Castiel’s lips and he thinks maybe his favourite day of the year didn’t get ruined after all. 

“Merry Christmas, Dean.”

**Author's Note:**

> Reblog it [here](https://angvlicmish.tumblr.com/post/189851823706/a-very-winchester-christmas-6k-ao3-summary) on my tumblr!
> 
> Comment below or leave some kudos if you enjoyed! Thanks so much for reading ♥


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